I’m Out!!!……..Ughh! No We Actually Really Want This (cue the rant, fill the wineglass)


Every time we think we are navigating smoothly through the adoption waters, we hit an iceberg.  As I mentioned a few posts ago, we received the finished evaluation from the psychologist and all we needed to do was contact a psychiatrist so they can review it and write a letter stating that we are in good mental health.  This, by the way, is one of the last things we need to complete our dossier.  I have called probably 13 psychiatrists in a 50 mile radius and all of them say one of three things: “we are not taking new patients especially if you are not going to be needing steady therapy sessions long term”, “you need a psychiatrist that deals with stuff like that, adoption stuff, we don’t do that” and my favorite (without knowing exactly what I need) “the doctor will have to see you for a couple of months of sessions”.

 Interlude: (jumping up and down and pointing my favorite finger)


Anywhoooo…..of course that was all on the inside!!  On the outside I was trying to regain my focus and move on to psychiatrist number 14.  I’m trying my best not to be discouraged but things like these really get you down.  I knew this was not going to be easy but I never knew how hard and disheartening it could be at times.  That is definitely not in any agency website or adoption site. I’m going to call it what it is; Adoption is a beast.  The first couple of months is what I call the honeymoon phase.  At this point you still have the “we are adopting yeey” high.  The initial paperwork is not that hard and things run smoothly.  The next phase is were I believe the agency begins to weed out the people straddling the adoption fence and those not truly committed.  The paperwork becomes harder, the expense is more evident and there are more things to examine with a social worker doing a homestudy.  The last phase is the most grueling and torturous one.  This part makes you cry, yell, question your decision to adopt, but at the same time it also makes you want it so much more!!  You are at the very end and you can see the finish line but you can’t yet touch it.  You are in limbo!  You are in adoption point of no return.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s