Since starting on this journey to adoption I have heard the most supportive and genuinely encouraging advice and comments. Then there are those remarks and suggestions that leave you wondering how some people haven’t been punched in the throat yet. Now I am fully aware that some people don’t mean to be offensive with their comments. I also know that unless you have been touched by adoption in any way its hard to understand the journey. It was hard for me at first, but sometimes I wish people would hear their comments in their head before allowing them to come out of their mouth. I guess that is a good tip when commenting on anything for that matter. Say it to yourself first, if it sounds douchey a second time, trust me it’s a douchey comment and not worth saying.
So far I have had a few horribly offensive and insensitive comments about us adopting. Of course people thought they were really being helpful and kind, they failed miserably. Today’s comment makes 4. I am going to share the gems with you purely for the entertainment value.
- Adoption is an easier way to have kids
Yeah, sure, if by easy you mean 10 years of battling infertility followed by a year of invasive questioning and document gathering while dishing out 30K+ and jumping through hoops in government bureaucracies simply to be considered a suitable parent…..yeah it’s piece of freaken cake…cake that I really want to shove down your fertile little throat right now.
- You guys are such angels and charitable for doing this
Oh absolutely! We really didn’t want a child but we saw this as a good opportunity to increase our chance for a noble peace prize and of course the 37K could be a good tax deduction…..said no one EVER!! Full disclosure, I once kept the labels that come to your home from the Purple Heart Foundation and did not give them a dime. So no, we are not being charitable; we would just love to have a child.
- Are you scared they might have gotten any mental issues from their mother?
Actually I was wondering that same thing about your kids right now. Well I guess you are ok since stupidity isn’t a mental issue. As long as you don’t talk in front of them I’m sure they’ll be ok.
- Do you want one that looks like you so you look like the real mother?
Ok I am going to tackle that as two. First why would I want them to look like me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m stunning 😉 but trust me my 15 year old son is a vision and my potential adoptive kids will be gorgeous to me and my husband. Now as far as the ‘real mom’ comment. I am not adopting hypothetical or make-believe fake children, people. They will be my real children and my husband and I will be their real mom and dad and we will live in a real home eating real food for real survival.
I am sure there will be more comments that will make the list and I’m sure one day I will laugh at these, but right now they just make me uncomfortably mad.