You may not like this but……

There is something I have been meaning to put in writing but I wanted to gather my thoughts so I can explain myself better. Then I said well who cares these are my thoughts and a) I will never run for office.  b) if you don’t want to know just click somewhere else and c) I am paying for this domain so I can give you a play-by-play of me washing the dishes and I would be allowed because I own this site.  Of course a play-by-play of me washing the dishes would be super boring even to write about and also, who am I kidding, I don’t really wash dishes, ask my husband:).  Anywhooo!!!  What I want to talk about is something that was said to me a lot while going through infertility and it has resurfaced when we mention to some people that we are adopting.  I am sure many of you in the infertility or adoption journey have heard the same thing.  “When God thinks its time for you to have a baby, he will give you a baby” or “God will bless you with the children you are meant to adopt”.  Now don’t get me wrong I am not an atheist nor am I agnostic. I am not religious but I am faithful. I believe there is a higher power but I don’t think it has nor wants to have control of every part of our life. It’s called free will. I go to church and raise my son as a believer and the part about loving your neighbor and being charitable and kind, that’s good stuff. This brings me to my point, yes I’m getting to it, relax, God doesn’t owe you a child, ever. A child isn’t your reward or (in cases of unwanted pregnancies) a punishment.  It is a biological process of gestation of humans so the race doesn’t die out. Your body either has the capability to carry a child or by some defect (like a diabetic not able to process sugar) it cannot. These are situations were you, single or as a family, decide that adoption will be the way to still grow a family. God doesn’t say I will make you infertile so you can adopt or vice a versa. He has given us the teachings and he is leaving us with the decisions only we can make. I like to think he is now watching what we do and thinks “yeeeeyy, good choice my child” or “yikes that is going to come back to bite you in the butt, but hey it’s all on you child”. At this point we please him, we make him shake his head, we disappoint him and at the end he just says “come home”. I know that saying “God will bless you with…..” is comforting to some and of course always said with the best intentions but sometimes if the ‘blessing’ doesn’t happen it can be painful and it can make the person question why they weren’t ‘blessed’. Sure we say God has other plans and we certainly look for an answer or a sign. I think we just need to trust that he already made us smart enough and kind enough and loving enough to know and do the things that will, at the end, make him say “yessss, you rock at this life thing, can’t wait to see you home to tell you”. Personally, I live my life with that thought in mind.  I want to rock this life thing!

So those are my two cents!!  Like or hate it that is how I see it!  Peace out humans whom I share this world with! I love you all!

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