This week I broke down and actually emailed the representative from our agency in Peru. She’s a very pleasant and nice woman who read right through my façade about finding out whether my birth certificate was still current, and gave us the information I was really looking for. She told us that she had already submitted our dossier and we were just awaiting their review. This of course has opened up the can of worms I had so carefully closed and sealed….. and threw away…. and burned. Ever since we started the adoption process we have gone back and forth regarding the child/children we would love to share our lives with. I was always under the impression that we were looking for one more child to welcome. My dear husband, however, was looking to assemble his own little soccer team. This has been the subject of much discussion since last November when we finalized our petition. For reasons that I am still not sure about, he convinced me that our family can comfortably and lovingly welcome a sibling group, though at this point I was thinking a sibling group of two. Yesterday’s news that our dossier is currently being reviewed brought back said discussion.
Since we have never really address the number that either of us were thinking of when we agreed on a sibling group and the fact that ever since we bought the minivan hubby has been joking about being able to fit 8 people. I figured this would be a good time to revisit this conversation. The truth is, my husband (bless his heart, as they say in the south) is an amazingly smart, good hearted, and a fantastic father but the man is super impulsive. As he was making his case for why we can bring home 3 Peruvian babies I had to remind him that he is no Daddy Warbucks and we do not live in a mansion. I know he means well and I know he truly believes we can do this, however, the truth is I will be the one ‘DOING’ this because, let’s face it, he will have to go to work at some point. As much as I would love to give 20 kids a loving home……wait no… I really don’t want to do that…. Yikes I just had a tiny panic attack. You know what I mean, many kids, I would love to give many kids a home, but I also want to make sure we can provide equally to all the kids we adopt as well as the one we already have.
As I was making my brilliant points on why we should really only adopt one child he pulls up the IRS webpage to show me what the adoption tax credit is for one child and what it could be for more. SERIOUSLY!! If this was his best argument we were in trouble. So after I gave him the look I normally give my students when they ask for extra credit the day before the course ends (disbelief and horrified with a hint of amusement) he reconsidered his logic. Honestly I love the man to death but sometimes I could suffocate him in his sleep. Normally this would be an area where I have more weight in the decision. Yes, we have a system that works in this home, I have more weight in the areas of child rearing, vacations, decorating and homes, while investments, restaurants, and finances is all him. Believe me this girl can do math but she cannot do money math. Bottomline, we live in a beautifully decorated home, make great choices with money and have a fabulously smart child. The system works!
Well that night back and forth we went, talk, talk, talk, blah, blah, blah, drink, drink, drink, and at the end we had come to a decision. We decided we will put a pin on it and let our heart guide us to an answer as the time comes to accept a match. So folks we are open to sibling groups of two but we will do what feels right for our family the closer we get.