Last week we were sent a very disheartening email from the Peruvian government. They didn’t reject our petition to adopt but they did delay our process by asking for a few clarifications from our dossier. Excuse me a minute while I panic and throw up, all at the same time!! After our emotional meltdown, more mine than his, we regrouped and trekked on. I began making the phone calls to all the entities that needed to make the corrections and/or elaborations. The agency did inform us that observations are very common at this point and they are quick to approve once all the clarifications are explained.
First observation I made was that the message I received about these clarifications was absolutely unclear. The translation was so off, for a moment there I thought they had hired my mom to do it. The lady is the smartest woman I know but her English comes off as if she had google translate in her brain. I wished they had just left it in Spanish since it is my first language. The best part was that I put it on google translate from English to Spanish and it made more sense. Gosh I hope that isn’t what we paid for when it came to translating our documents, though that would explain a lot of the “clarifications” needed.
The first explanation they needed was regarding our professions. Apparently soldier isn’t clear enough for Peru. Our representative advised us to specify that he is an officer with a doctorate degree and yada, yada, yada. How pretentious!! However, if this gets us our kids I will pull rank like I was a star in an episode of Army Wives. Just saying.
Second explanation was regarding our monthly income, which, I am assuming, stems from the above explanation. So we write up our expenses, omit my trips to the Christmas Tree Shop (aka the crappy chachkies store, according to Chris), embellish the trips to the grocery store cause on paper we eat like we have stock with Whole Foods and we fudge a little on how often we eat out to appear like instead of many crappy places we visit a few posh five star joints. Don’t judge, you know you were thinking about it.
Our third explanation was regarding our home. The question was our reason for renting rather than owning. Really Peru? That’s the problem? Ok, FYI we live in one of the oldest military bases in the United States so thanks American taxes, you ALL own my historic home and I am the curator…oh my God that sounds so good…wait let me write that down. Well at least it sounds better than ‘I haven’t set any roots in this country because of my husband’s job’ albeit honorable.
Our last clarification was in reference to the number of children we are prepared to welcome into our family. My heart says “how many orphans does your country have, ok all of them then” but my head and pocket (heartless bastards) say “I think two is best”. I thought we had made that abundantly clear but perhaps google translate failed in the translation again.
So to recap, we spent a year and a month putting together an extensive compilation of our life/income/psychological history, we then waited for 3 months with no word on the status of our documents and now we are making clarifications on said documents to again filed them back in Peru. Got it! Meanwhile, in Alabama (at the agency) I hear crickets.