Knowing what I know now, would I do this again?

Aside from the usual “How long is it taking already?” and “Have you heard from Peru, do you know who the kids are?”, another least favorite question of mine is “If you knew all this, would you still adopt?”.  Don’t get me wrong, I know people ask because they are genuinely  curious and concerned but when you hear these three or four times a day, you just want to punch someone in the throat or pick up a hobby, like say…drinking.  I go back and forth on those two.   I do own the fact that this may be partly my fault.  I gave in and told people we were adopting when my gut told me to wait until the process was closer to an end.  You are just so excited about it and of course, how was I to know that it would be easier to get a presidential nomination than to adopt a child (see what I did there, we laugh because its true).  When I respond to these questions, all 500 times, I always give the same answer, “Well we are closer to being matched but we haven’t heard yet”.  This seemes to appease mostly all the inquiries but on the inside the conversation continues, if only for me.

“How long is it taking already?” Gee I don’t know, I had already forgotten all about it, said no one EVER as they are adopting.  It has been 2 years, 7 months, 12 days, 3 hours and 4 minutes…5 minutes…6 minutes, wait, are you still here?  Yeah, we know how long its been.

“Have you heard from Peru, do you know the kids yet?”  This one is tricky since I feel I have to explain that the whole country doesn’t get together and call me with a child in mind.  But I assume they mean a call from Peru.  If I knew who the kids were, wouldn’t you think I would call the adoption almost complete?  Also I am sure that there is some rule against disclosing names and pictures of children before they are yours by law.  Either way no, we don’t know who we are adopting until we sign adoption papers.

“If you knew all this, would you still adopt?”  This baffles me because this question has the assumption that if I knew it was going to be hard I would completely abandon those very deep feelings of wanting to grow my family through adoption.  Now don’t get me wrong, and my close friends and family can vouch for this, I am..how can I put this ….a bit of a slacker.  Not with the big things of course but with sort of everything else.  I mean, my son’s birth certificate has my husband and my birthday as the same and it also states he is caucasian (I’m hispanic and my husband is native american).   Here is the problem, my son is 16.   I’ll change it eventually.  Gahhh I can’t even say that with a straight face. Anyway, adopting isn’t something you stop because it gets hard or takes too long, you either want those children with every fiber of your being and would go through hell and back for them or you just don’t.

So in short, I am appreciative that people care enough to ask questions about where we are in the process and I know everyone thinks they are the only ones who have asked that question that day.  Just know that if I answer kindly but my face doesn’t match, it may be because you are customer number 6.  Thank you for your concerns though and I mean that.

This was my truth sauce for today.  Hashtag blessed, hashtagadopting, hashtagperu…..hahaha, who am I kidding I don’t know how to use that, until 6 months ago I thought the hashtag sign was pound.  #the90s…..uhhmm nope still not feeling it.

2 thoughts on “Knowing what I know now, would I do this again?

  1. Please know that everything you are feeling is completely normal, from someone who has been through it. I also got the, “Why not just give up on Peru, and adopt from somewhere else faster?” People just don’t get that you have already started forming your bond with your child, even though you don’t know who (or even how old!) they are yet. I don’t think it’s something anyone who hasn’t been through can understand.

    Just know you are not alone, and it is worth it a million times over.

    Like

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