This weekend we heard that Peru will meet again this October to match families with children. They will only, however, match Peruvian families living in Peru and will temporarily suspend adoptions to agencies in the U.S. and Spain whom have failed to hand in post adoption reports. I am not really sure where the ball was dropped and by whom but after the adoption is completed you had ONE job. Listen I will be the first one to tell you that if I don’t put crap on my calendar and actually have my calendar on my phone and maybe have Siri tell me what I need to do that day with multiple reminders throughout the day (man I’d hate to be my personal assistant) nothing would get done. I thought this was the reason we have agencies that keep track of our post adoption information and remind us when things need to be sent in. I mean, I am paying them money for this service, which is the reason I don’t have money to pay a personal assistant and have to rely on stupid Siri. Also as much as I do admit to being a bit of a slacker when it comes to most things, I think that the fact that your reminder is literally talking to you and living in your home calling you mom should be a pretty solid clue, but that’s just me.
My agency recently had the nerve to act like nothing was happening and through the entire conversation I could only think how surreal and crazy they sounded. On the phone I’m sure I had the same exact look the Kohl’s cashier lady gives me when I buy a small,… ‘that’s right lady I go to the gym….well ok, I pass by the gym on my way to starbucks, but I will enroll one of these days’. I could not believe what I was hearing. Just own it! You dropped the ball in…ok…MANY post adoption reports but tell me how this will be fixed and how this could or could not affect my process. Don’t pretend nothing is happening.
What did I learn from this ‘little’ hiccup? A few things! First, get as much information you can from any source you find and confront your agency, demand the information they have and compare. Second, go over all your documents and make sure you are not going to have any expiring in the next month or two and if you do, make sure you are ahead of the game. Your agency might not help. And third, know your Peruvian representative and open communications with them because they just might be your lifeline during problems like these.
In other curious developments, I have noticed that people are losing interest in where our adoption process is. I wonder if other people adopting have experienced this? I mean, I get it, it has taken long and I would be tired of hearing “we are still waiting to be matched” every time I ask, but think of how we feel to have to say it. This reminds me of my husband’s first deployment (15months). My son started second grade and I was at the school for all kinds of functions and I always felt the need to explain that, in fact, I was not a single parent and that I wasn’t making up a husband and he did exist. After a while people stopped asking about him and just avoided me. Guess where our first trip was when he returned home? That’s right, I dressed him up and marched him over to the school to show him off. I know that was petty and I probably looked crazy but suck it Glenelen Elementary my man is real. So I will have kids to show off soon, I know it!
Here is the information referencing where adoptions stand in Peru.