We are back to radio silence with my agency and not a peep from the representative in Peru. I have to be honest, today has truly been one of those days. I’m sure you have all had one. I woke up this morning too late to make myself look good too early to care (its now pitch black here in NY at o’dark thirty). I had errands to run and appointments to make. I could also say I went to the gym… buutttt we both know I’ll be lying and frankly I’m too tired to do that dance. Here’s the thing, I am a college instructor by profession and because we were ready to be matched in Peru I decided to skip teaching this semester in preparation for travel. Well that was a bad call, wouldn’t you say? So now I have no job, nowhere to go in the morning and way too much time on my hands. All I do is think about our predicament. Let’s see, we are fast approaching our 3rd year in the adoption process, we have depleted our savings considerably and our time in NY is running out. When the army says you have to move, they don’t exactly ask what else is going on in your life. Another thing I have been thinking about lately is my son and how much he has always wanted siblings. He is now 17 and in less than 2 years he will be off to college and out of the house. It makes me sad that he won’t have a lot of time with the siblings he always longed for. I really can’t understand why he doesn’t love being an only child, I loved it, if it wasn’t for my brother and sister who ruin everything, ha ha just kidding I love them and I’m actually a middle child so I guess my brother may have not been too thrilled with my arrival. Well my point is that my kid hates it. So to recap, my day has been full of anxiety.
Something else that’s bothering me today and in the spirit of full disclosure: I am very annoyed at the fact that I have really given up. Oh no, not on the adoption of course but because I really have nowhere to go in the morning I’m just not interested in looking my best……or like a person…. who goes outside…..(looking down) I may have worn this shirt yesterday and maybe the day before……in all honesty, I’m sure even the day before that. I have also fallen prey to some mom shaming I was never aware of (or cared about) because I was working. I was stopped last week by a mom who actually said to me “I just love how you don’t care about what people think and just dress however”. Ok so it sounded a little like a compliment so I started to smile then, it sunk in. I gave her the same look I give my southern mother-in-law when she gives me the “bless your heart” crap. That’s right mom, 18 years later, I know that’s code for “I cannot believe out of all the pretty, charming, southern girls, my first born, West Point grad brought home a catholic, Spanish, yankee, who drinks like a fish and curses like a sailor”. So after having my feelings hurt by “you dress like a homeless person” Lisa and “what do you do all day, you only have one child” Gwenn, I have decided that a) I need new neighbors, b) I will make it a point to at least make it out of the house clean and c) I will fill my days doing one thing to prepare our house for more kids.
So today I managed to finish the kids’ room. I still need to paint but so far I think its cute. It is, however, wine o’clock! Time to lick my wounds, shake it off, and regroup to start this crap again tomorrow.
The beds were a habitat for humanity steal at 50$ for both, some wood appliques make it a great pair. The night stand was a garage sale bargain at 3$. I had to do more work to this piece, changing the hardware and getting a basket which I whitewashed.
The pretty little vanity took me back all of 10$ and the dresser 35$. All of these pieces were painted using Chalk paint Annie Sloan (coco) with a light stain and wax.
And now I leave you with the wise words of the two Wilsons and the Phillips chick: (because who doesn’t get their wise morals and self-improvement guidelines from pop 80’s culture? duh)
“Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things’ll go your way, hold on for one more day”
(Honestly we can learn a lot from 80’s music. You want history, I give you Billie Joel’s “We didn’t start the fire”, for health we go to Madonna’s “Papa don’t Preach” and “Like a Virgin” and the list goes on. Ooh that may be a good list for another day…don’t judge…remember, girl with no job here).