“Sure life, kick us while we are down, its cool”

So there is a few things you don’t anticipate when trying to adopt.  Things you never planned for come up, so you roll with the proverbial punches but then suddenly life shows up like the uninvited grabby drunk guest at your daughter’s quincieañera, craps all over the party and walks away.  That’s a pretty accurate analogy….trust me it is.  We have recently learned that my father-in-law has terminal cancer.  Because when we are 3 years into battling the anxieties of waiting for children through adoption, why not add the heartbreak of our parent’s imminent mortality to the mix. FLIPPIN’ FABULOUS! Listen I know this sounds harsh and for those who don’t know me I only have 3 valid responses…well ever really: dark humor, anger and bitchy sarcasm.  Lucky for you readers, I am only at anger.  I am catholic (faithful not uber religious) and I go to church on Sundays but I’m skipping a few of them from here on.  That’s right, I’m mad.  Before you start judging or preaching at me, know that this is my process and its of course between me and him/her.  He/she knows me and knows how I am and we have the realest relationship. Having said that, he/she has pissed me off and I need time to cool off!  I mean, I rarely ask for things, most of the time I leave him/her alone to do his/her thing with the rest of the world. For crying out loud there are morons everywhere praying for their football team to get a medal…or a bowl…or a ring…whatever they win I don’t know.  Do you see me doing that, NO.  But I ask for ONE thing!!  ONE thing!! And I hear crickets!!  You see my father-in-law was one person who was soooo looking forward to more grandkids from us and the one (besides us) that was the most invested in this adoption, so the possibility that he may not be here to meet them just makes me wanna scream many..oh so many potty words.  So for my religious friends (before I get angry comments) I know this too shall pass and yadda, yadda, yadda and with time I may see his/her designed destiny but for now, as I told countless boyfriends back in high school, I’m going to need some space K thanks!

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