Highs, Lows, highs….and that is the Adoption Process!

Happy New Year 2018!  So far we are not quite fans.  Let’s recap the holidays shall we?  The very first gift of Christmas was opened by us on Saturday, December 9th when we received our long awaited approval (oh and bonus, Army beat Navy in football that very same day).  We were now approved to adopt children 2-12 and this is what Peru needed to match us with the kids whose file we had requested to study and to adopt.  So far life was good!  Of course everything in Peru shuts down for the holidays so we wouldn’t be entering the board to be matched until January.  I feel like I say this every Christmas but it sure would have been nice to be able to talk and send gifts to the kids in Peru if we had been matched.  I also absolutely hate that I had to spend another holiday season answering the same old question I answer every year: “So how is the adoption going? When are you getting the kids?”  This is about the time when I just want to scream “I know you mean well but you asking me that makes me want to pour myself a strong shot with one hand and punch you in the throat with the other”.  I know I am being dramatic and overly sensitive but like I have warned you before, this is a no sugarcoat, call it like I see it, keeping it real adoption blog.  But I digress.  We decided to spend a nice winter break in a Myrtle Beach Timeshare not obsessing or being anxious about our impending approval.  Easier said than done of course but we tried.  The day after Christmas we found out that there were issues that had not been fully disclosed about the health of the children.  In hopes of not violating any Hague Convention or Peru privacy rules I will simply say it was not caused by fault of anyone in our agency and I think I can go as far as to say it may have been an issue with timing when the assessments of the children were done.  Nonetheless here we were, having to make some very hard decisions.  So much for having a relaxing winter break away from stress.  We do appreciate that our agency acted quickly to figure out what was happening and advised us on how to proceed but the more we learned about the issue the more heartbroken we became knowing that this might not work out as we had hoped.

Two weeks into 2018 and we still have no answers.  We are also considering another sibling group but I am still hung up on the other kiddos.  I wish we could receive a sign about which way to go.  That happens, right?  I saw like a bajillion Hallmark Channel movies that show just that, during the holidays.  Why can’t that happen to us?  Normally, I like to be in control of everything.  I wouldn’t say I am control freak, but I normally think people are doing everything wrong….and by wrong I mean not the way I would do it.  If I have learned anything throughout this process, it has to be that 1. You have to prepare to relinquish control to different entities in different countries and 2. Buy a punching bag because hitting actual people is, and I’m paraphrasing here, NOT NICE.  This is about the only time in my whole life that I would welcome someone stepping in and telling me what to do.  I’m looking for signs everywhere.  The other morning I was drinking tea and I found myself staring into my cup for 15 minutes before remembering that to read tea you should have actual leaves in it and probably shouldn’t have used the keurig, basically, I was just looking at remnants from my toast and it told me nothing. I also wondered if I might get a sign in a dream (also saw that nonsense in one of those lame ass Hallmark movies).  I generally don’t have dreams, at least I remember nothing, but now I truly wish for one that would steer me in the right direction.  This week is going to be tough, we have tough choices ahead of us but I’m sure at the end, things will all work out………….is what people who have no control whatsoever say.  Oh for the love of all that is holy I may not survive this month.

          On a separate high, this gorgeous young man I made (ok hubby helped) is graduating from HS this June and already has 4 acceptance letters to college.  Time sure flies when you are having fun……..and adopting apparently!

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