Here is a much owed update. This, of course, before I transition the blog into RAISING PERU KIDS. I will keep Adopt Peru for the purpose of information and timeline regarding Peru adoptions but I think we are going to learn and grow from here on as we navigate the challenges of raising 3 Peru adoptees ages 9, 8 and 6.
We have been home for 2 months now and we are slowly but surely getting our bearings. At first, we were just excited to be home after a lengthier than anticipated stay in Peru, then came the crazy realization that this was our life now. 4 kids 2 adults one dog; let the inevitable chaos begin. The beginning was hard, I’m not gonna lie. We had to start enforcing the same discipline we had in Peru in a new environment. We were met with a lot of resistance. Just like that, the honeymoon period was over. don’t get me wrong not all was adopted kid issues, a lot of it was plain old generic asshole kid issues. Yup, I just called kids assholes. Listen I love my kids to death but sometimes (including my adult one) they are just that, little terrorist assholes who suck the life out of you but asleep they look like heaven. It’s complicated! We needed to learn which was which so as to discipline/talk/love through it differently. My Ela for example, shuts down when called out on bad behavior. We cannot get her to talk to us or even look at us when this happens. We are also finding out that english is a bit more of a frustration for her and reverted to showing her middle finger in school to kids whom she thought had wronged her. We nipped that in the butt real quick but I am sure the kids have not forgotten. FYI, she didn’t learn that from me since she has not been in the car with me that much when I drive in Jersey. If you are from Jersey, you know! She is becoming more open and we are starting to see happiness show a little more as she feels more secure and loved. My Jhoan is a different story. He has outbursts of anger when disciplined, tv is turned off, or transitioning into other activities he may not like. At first they were severe, hitting doors and walls and at one point, Dad. This lasted for about a month. This is the part that had me anxiety ridden and suffering from a bit of insomnia. Of course, this was aggravated by the fact that I had returned from Peru with yet another little souvenir, a bacteria called H. Pylori that had created and ulcer in my stomach and made me lose 16lbs. in one month. I was a mess and I felt a mess. 3 antibiotics, pain meds and ulcer meds later I am much more myself. Jhoan’s behavior was also a cause for stress between Chris and I, as it normally happens in couples with different parenting styles. Mine of course being the best one, just kidding, ughh why am I like this! The more we became consistent and got on the same page, the better things got. We are working on it everyday. I am happy to say that the tantrums and anger that he was showing at the beginning is getting so much better were he knows to control it a lot better and understands that going crazy on the furniture and house gets him ignored and nowhere. Things get better everyday with him. Now, my Leo is a bit of a hot mess. She seems to have less adopted kid issues and just plain old kid nonsense. She understands cause and effect better now and things with her seem to run somewhat smooth.
Life is different for us now, for all of us. It’s hard, it’s chaotic, it’s complicated, it’s beautiful, it’s fulfilling and most of all, it’s busier than a 5 dollar hooker. Here are some pictures of our first 2 months.