Facts About Adoption
- In an attempt to regulate international adoptions, many countries ratified the Hague Adoption Convention, which tries to avoid trafficking and to make it easier for children to have their citizenship finalized in their new countries. It also says that every attempt should be made to place children in their own country before an international adoption is considered.
- The United States adopts more children, not only internationally but also domestically, than the rest of the world combined.
- One of the earliest laws regarding adoption is the Code of Hammurabi, which explains the rights of adopters and the responsibilities of adopted individuals. In Rome, the Codex Justinianus explains the laws of adoption.
- Both domestic and international adoptions have similar total costs, typically ranging from $25,000 to $50,000, but they both have their own unique costs. For example, couples adopting internationally may have to budget for a visa, whereas couples adopting domestically may have to budget for the birth mother’s rent or medical bills.
Famous people who were adopted: Jamie Foxx, Jack Nicholson, Ray Liotta, Steve Jobs, Frances McDormand, Nicole Richie, Debbie Harry, Dave Thomas (Wendy’s Founder), Nicole “Snookie” Polizzi, Gary Coleman, Faith Hill, Melissa Gilbert, and Scott Hamilton.
What Not To Say to Adoptive Parents
This part of my blog was created for a mixture of entertainment and sarcasm. Here you will be educated on what not to say to adoptive parents and for those of you who already know better, they are great fun. Now I will update these as I experience them….oh no folks these are not hypothetical, someone actually mustered the nerve to voice these comments out loud. I am not going to lie, they all made me very angry and offended but then I got over it and said “you are an idiot but these would be fun for my blog”. I kid but I know that most people have the best intentions and they really don’t mean any harm. I also know that they are just not educated on the whole journey and you can’t blame someone for that. Then there are those that just don’t care how their words might be hurtful and offensive and to them I say “JUST DON’T”.
The first four you may remember from my November 14 post Never say “how stupid can you be?” People are taking that as a challenge. But the rest are brand new nuggets, so enjoy.
- Adoption is an easier way to have kids
Yeah, sure, if by easy you mean 10 years of battling infertility followed by a year of invasive questioning and document gathering while dishing out 30K+ and jumping through hoops in government bureaucracies simply to be considered a suitable parent…..yeah it’s piece of freaken cake…cake that I really want to shove down your fertile little throat right now.
- You guys are such angels and charitable for doing this
Oh absolutely! We really didn’t want a child but we saw this as a good opportunity to increase our chance for a noble peace prize and of course the 37K could be a good tax deduction…..said no one EVER!! Full disclosure, I once kept the labels that come to your home from the Purple Heart Foundation and did not give them a dime. So no, we are not being charitable; we would just love to have a child.
- Are you scared they might have gotten any mental issues from their mother?
Actually I was wondering that same thing about your kids right now. Well I guess you are ok since stupidity isn’t a mental issue. As long as you don’t talk in front of them I’m sure they’ll be ok.
- Do you want one that looks like you so you look like the real mother?
Ok I am going to tackle that as two. First why would I want them to look like me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m stunning 😉 but trust me my 15 year old son is a vision and my potential adoptive kids will be gorgeous to me and my husband. Now as far as the ‘real mom’ comment. I am not adopting hypothetical or make-believe fake children, people. They will be my real children and my husband and I will be their real mom and dad and we will live in a real home eating real food for real survival.
- Why can’t you just go there and pick one up from an orphanage?
Geez where were you genius when we were dishing out thousands on documents…..oh wait I think they frown upon that since its called….let me think of the word…oh yeah KIDNAPPING. NO you cannot go and ‘pick one up’ from an orphanage anywhere.
- I know how you feel we considered adoption when we tried for 3 months before I got pregnant the third time.
Oh wow, you sure do know how I feel! (sarcasm) can you hold my coffee, I don’t want to punch you in the throat but you are kind of twisting my arm here with that comment.
- Don’t adopt from Russia, my hairdresser’s cousin’s brother-in-law adopted from there and the kids grew up to be a drug addict.
Wait, are you high right now? Ok I’m going to walk away now….don’t follow me.
- Now that you are adopting you are sure to get pregnant (insert an anecdote of a relative of a relative of an acquaintance that did)
Oh most definitely! This is exactly why we started the adoption process; we knew it was a sure cure for infertility. The minute we get pregnant we will drop the process and forget about the 20k that has already gone into it. Seriously people? First of all not everyone who adopts has had infertility issues but those of us who have, see adoption as just a different way of becoming parents NOT our last resort or any less miraculous and beautiful.
- Are you going to allow the child to seek for his/her real parents?
First of all, AGAIN with the ‘real parent’ thing! You can see me right; I am not a figment of your imagination. I will be that child’s real parent, but to answer your question; I will most definitely always facilitate knowledge my child has on his/her identity, roots, ancestry etc. This is a human need and I will not hinder the search if that is what they need.
- (said by someone who does not know my heritage) Why didn’t you adopt from America, there are a lot of kids here that need adopting?
Couple of things here; (this just may be the teacher in me) First, I am adopting my child from America, South America to be exact. Secondly, I don’t think any child is more deserving than another of a family. If my family decided this is the child we want to love I don’t care if he/she comes from mars. It is also hurtful to judge a family’s decision.
Here is a good rule of thumb when talking to adoptive families 🙂 enjoy!
“Two of the hardest tests in life: the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage to accept whatever you encounter”. -Paulo Coelho
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us”. – E. M. Forster
“I didn’t give you the gift of life, life gave me the gift of you” – unknown
“A head full of fears leaves no room for dreams”. -Betty Uhrig
Please input the ‘other’ in a comment, full disclosure I might steal your idea:).